Bathroom...be back later. Much, much later.
You're gonna have to hold it because I can't.
Doctors say that it is good for us to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. Unfortunately it has its consequences.
Getting my crap on....(THE FLOOR!)
Hey get out of this away message, I'm taking a shower! Pervert!!
Crap. I gotta crap.
They say if you eat enough chocolate your crap will turn brown. ‚I'll be the judge of that.
I bet George Washington is up in heaven right now saying, “What the hell are you doing in the shower son? Well I dontt care! I need to be clean okay! Are not my dad!
Im taking a crap but I'm out of toilet paper. Funny how I had the foresight to write that in this away message, yet still did nothing about it.
I'd love to chat but currently a log of shit is rolling out of my body and into its watery haven. That's right, I'm in the shower.
Sleep
It's time for me to go to bed. Don't worry though, I'm not signing offline. That would be RIDICULOUS!
If only ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz..... was a real word, then I would kick ass at Scrabble. I'm asleep.
†Resting in peace. AIM-men.
If you were my covers, I'd be under you, extremely content, and not even faking.
I am three things right now: 1) Asleep, 2) Online, 3) A nerd because I'm asleep and online.
I'm asleep. And if I were the arm-coverer on my t-shirt, I would be asleeve. Either way, I've got myself covered.
I'm asleep on the keyboard, so if I respond to you that's just my face talking.
I've gone to bed, if I don't wake up in 43 hours, assume the best: I'm still sleeping.
Sleeping is like shopping with a leep instead of a hop.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....ebras....I hate zzzzzzzebras...
Catching up on my zee's. ZEE'S NUTS!
Finally, some quality porno time. (Please read porno as SLEEP seeing as my delete button is broken.)
Mickey Rooney once said sleep was the opposite of being awake. Which may be true, except for his REAL name was Michael Rooney.
In class. IN MY DREAMS!
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I'll cry in anguish, "Mistake!! Mistake!!"
Thoughts
A profile about your girlfriend is like peeing...everyone sees it, but only you and her can feel the warmth...WEIRDOS.
If an away message is posted on the Internet, but noone ever reads it, did that person ever really go away?
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my own dreams."
Beer makes people smarter. Think about it...it made Bud wiser.
Dance as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and leave every away message as if it were your last.
Hi, I'm sorry m not here right now. If youd like to leave a message please press 2, then 4, then 345 then type 'Yes, I am this lame.'
I'm at work now. Something to think about while you wait for me to get back: A train station is where the train stops, right? And a bus station is where the bus stops, right? Well, on my desk, I have a work station...
If I am away, you should get a message saying:
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
